


The Universe is a Very Small Place

by Owlwithafringe



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Alien Jail, Alien Laws, Alien Planet, Awkward Flirting, M/M, Reference to The End of Time Part 1 and 2, Reference to the Tenth Doctor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-24
Updated: 2014-08-24
Packaged: 2018-02-11 01:10:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2047395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Owlwithafringe/pseuds/Owlwithafringe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was only then the Doctor realised the full extent of the ridiculousness of his life. He was locked in a jail cell on a random planet for wearing purple conversing about the long (or not so long in this case) levity of his bodies with his best enemy who for all purposes should be dead or at the very least trapped on a burning planet. </p><p>Ah yes, just another day in the life of the Doctor.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Universe is a Very Small Place

The Doctor was accustomed to being chucked hazardly into strange jails on alien planets, and being relinquished of his sonic screwdriver. However he wasn't used to it being for such ridiculous offences though.

He had been strolling idly down an empty street, looking for a good cafe where he could have a cup of tea, or this planets equivalent, when he was grabbed by three or four armed men who appeared out of no-where, manhandled him into the back of a shuttle and then deposited at the nearest jail.

He'd later found out that he had been arrested due to his clothes.

How was he supposed to know that purple was a sacred colour on this planet, to be worn only by the High Priests and that for anyone else to do so was a criminal offence? 

This had all occurred three days ago. 

Which brought him up to his current dilemma. He was sitting on the stone floor in his trousers and waistcoat - his coat was lost in the struggle on the street - with his bow-tie untied and more than a little grumpy - mostly down to the fact he couldn't escape.

Whilst he could easily get by without his sonic screwdriver - after all he was rather apt at picking locks and the like - this particular lock which had him incarcerated him required a bit more of a high tech solution than just using a needle or bobby pin and wiggling it around inside the lock until it the door opened.

He got fed once a day - a dirty little bowl containing an unidentified broth. The Doctor could go for days without food, thanks to his Timelord genetics but he ate the broth gratefully, knowing that he much preferred warm food over being executed by his captors. He was wary as not to offend them by not eating the food. If the Doctor was unable to escape that meant he was in for the long haul and he didn't want to make his conditions any worse than they already were.

But by judging from the whispers of the guards it didn't sound like he would be there for much longer.

According to them, from what the Doctor could hear anyway, there was an ongoing trial as to what his fate would be after such a terrible crime - and it wasn't going to his favour.

Later, on the end of the third day, the Doctor got company in his cell.

He was sitting, leaning his back against the wall with his legs spread out in front of him and his eyes shut. To the unknowing eye, the Doctor gave the image of someone sleeping but in his mind, cogs were relentlessly turning - endlessly plotting and devising ways he could escape.

The Doctor had been so caught up in his thoughts that he hadn't heard the guard come in, until there was the sound of a person being chucked in, landing on the floor with a thud.

The Doctor was in two minds whether or not to try and approach his new cellmate.

His cell had been designed for the most dangerous of criminals - the Doctor speculated as to why the colour of a kan's clothing would be considered so dangerous, that he had been put in the homicidal maniacs, timeout cell but then he recalled the colour (or rather colours) of the outfit he had donned during his sixth body, and shuddered at the thought of it. He conceded that with clothes as startling as them, that it would actually be quite reasonable t lock him up to stop anyone else going blind for the horrendously bright clown suit. 

He'd been so adamant that the outfit had actually looked good. What on Gallifrey had been running through his mind at the time? Ah, he'd been so young and foolish then, frolicking around the universe with his self righteousness and scantily clad companions.

It was nice to see even after so many years, things didn't change.

Back to the point of his newly acquired cell mate though. He must of done something truly terrible (In which case, would not end well for the Doctor) or they could have been wrongly convicted of something like he was. Either way, he had to try. They could help aid the Doctor's escape because he didn't really fancy the idea of executed at all that week. Or ever.

The Doctor waited until he could hear the guard leave before giving his facade of sleep. He sat up a bit straighter and opened an eye. The man deposited on the floor was on his hands and knees, head low, swearing under his breath in what sounded like Silurian.

He took in the new mans appearance. He wore black, shabby and worn looking clothing and had bleached hair. He looked like an average humanoid. It wasn't until he looked up and met the Doctor's gaze that any hope he might of had in getting help in escaping went out the window, as he realised who this was.

A spark of recognition lit up in the man's eyes.

_Oh shit._

The man stood up groaning. He brushed the dirt and dust from his clothes, his eyes catching the Doctor's shell shocked ones. 

"Fucking Rassilon, i can't catch a break can i? Out of _all_ the people in the entirety of time and space, i get shoved into a prison cell with _you_."

The man started pacing up and down the cell, mumbling curse words in a dead language as he went and shooting the Doctor the occasional glare. The Doctor, who had completely frozen in shock, brain finally caught up with him allowing him to incredulously spit out a word, the only word that seemed to exist in his vocabulary at that moment in time.

" _Master?_ "

The Master stopped pacing to give the Doctor a look.

"Unfortunately. You're a bit slow on the upkeep this time around aren't you? I guess regeneration it's a bit of a gamble. And as for that chin.."

The Doctor stood up from his seat on the floor and held out placating hands to try and stem the Master's talking, but there was no interrupting his commentary now. It looked a little like to the Doctor, that the Master was starting to enjoy himself. Well, he was just standing there insulting him, so it wasn't too much of a leap to think so.

".. And what happened to your eyebrows? Failed science experiment?"

"Master, just shut up. How are you here? You walked into the timelock." The Doctor demanded.

The Master smirked, and practically purred as he spoke. "Oh Doctor, so pushy. Finally a man of action. As pretty as your last self was, he was an awful pushover and half the appeal of you is that you fight back. It isn't nearly as much fun otherwise." His gaze turned thoughtful. "And yes, i did. I sacrificed myself for you, which i'm never doing again by the way, i mean look at you, it was clearly all in vain. How long did it take for you to get yourself killed?"

The Doctor shook his head, hands gesturing uselessly as his mouth opened and shut like a goldfish and his shoulders shrugged.

The Master raised an eyebrow at him, waiting on his answer. "Well? Is the Doctor finally a man of few words? Maybe your last regeneration used up all your words. By Rassilon he didn't stop talking. So? How long was it? A month? A year?"

"It may have been.. maybe more like.. half an hour?"

The Master's eyebrows climbed high in disbelief and his voice took on a deceptive calm tone. "Half an.. Please tell me i'm going deaf as well as being insane, because i believe you said half an hour."

The Doctor shrugged, a sheepish look on his face. "Roughly."

"Wow." The Master deadpanned.

"Yup." 

The Master gave him an almost disgusted look. "I mean really?"

The Doctor remained silent. The Master whistled.

"That's got to be a record for you."

It was only then the Doctor realised the full extent of the ridiculousness of his life. He was locked in a jail cell on a random planet for wearing purple conversing about the long (or not so long in this case) levity of his bodies with his best enemy who for all purposes should be dead or at the very least trapped on a burning planet. 

Ah yes, just another day in the life of the Doctor.

"You didn't answer my question though." The Doctor frowned. "How did you escape?"

The Master looked at him like he was an idiot - well, he probably thought he was. "I'm very clever."

In all honesty the Doctor felt like he should have expected that answer. He still doesn't know why he ever expected a straight answer from the Master. He nearly rolled his eyes in exasperation. 

"What are you doing here though?" The Doctor questioned.

"That's quite the question. No-one really knows how the universe truly works, except we are all pawns in her elaborate game of chess and-"

The Doctor interrupted, gritting his teeth slightly in irritation. "That's not what i meant."

"Oh i know, i just wanted to see if you still did that pouty thing that your last body did when he was mad. You do by the way. I'm here because apparently people don't like it when you try and take control over their planet." 

"Naturally." The Doctor replied.

"I think it was an overreaction on their part." 

The Doctor actually did roll his eyes this time. "You would."

"It's not an important planet, just another rock with more self righteous insects crawling over it.

"If it's so unimportant, then why are you trying to take over it?" The Doctor asked.

"I've been out of action for a while. I thought i'd start small and work up to the big stuff - like stretching a muscle, so i don't pull one from not having warmed up first." The Master informed him. The Doctor wasn't sure if he was being serious or not, so he decided not to question it. "Unfortunately though, i got captured." He parted his hands to gesture at the cell in as if to 'and-now-here-i-am'. He looked curiously at the Doctor. "How come you haven't escaped yet?"

"They took my sonic off me." The Doctor said mournfully. 

The Master raised an eyebrow. "Then how do you intend to escape?"

The Doctor looked sheepish. "I was going to see if i could coerce my new cell mate into helping me.. But then it turned out to be you.."

The Master considered it. "I might help you. I don't exactly want to be here either."

The Doctor looked surprised. "You'd help me?"

"Well actually now that i think of it, i could escape and just leave you here." The Master replied, smirking.

"No, no.. No need to be hasty." The Doctor said slightly alarmed. "Do you have a plan?"

The Master shrugged, playing coy. "Maybe."

The Doctor rolled his eyes, realising what the Master wanted in exchange for his help. He sighed. "Please Master, will you help me escape by telling me your genius plan."

The Master gasped dramatically. "Oh Doctor, i never knew you cared."

The Doctor glared.

"Fine. I happen to have a secret weapon up my sleeve.. Well actually in my boot. And it's a literal weapon."

"What is it?" The Doctor asked suspiciously, following the Master as he headed towards the cell door.

The Master paused as reached the door, before crouching down and pulling a small, slim object that had been tucked inside his boot. He waggled it at the Doctor triumphantly. "Laser screwdriver. Much better than sonic."

"That's your plan!?" The Doctor cried incredulously. "Kill everyone?"

"No, it's this."

He pointed the laser screwdriver at the door, blowing the lock. He shoved open the door coming face to face with a startled guard. 

"How did you:-" Began the guard, but a blast from the laser screwdriver interrupted him as he slumped to the floor. 

"You were saying?" The Doctor said.

The Master rolled his eyes. "He's not dead. Just knocked out. Happy?"

"Hmm."

"You don't change, do you? Can't do anything bloody right in your eyes."

The Master grumbled. "Come on. The exit's this way."

The Master led them down a series of corridors, both looking out for guards and simultaneously bickering. They were just nearing, what the Doctor suspected to be the exit of the jail compound, when a loud siren began to wail, and the shouts of guards giving orders could be heard. The footsteps of a small platoon could be heard beating down on the ground behind them, not sounding too far away. The two Timelords glanced at each other.

"It was too easy anyway." The Doctor shrugged. "Run?"

The Master raised his eyebrows, somewhat challengingly. "Run."

The two began sprinting, the Master pointing his laser towards the door that separated them from imprisonment and freedom. The door blew open as the laser beam hit, and the two men flew through it and tore down onto the streets. They ran like their lives depended on it - and they did, but it wasn't the real reason they were running so fast.

Even at millennia old, the two men were still rather childish. The two running together was a game, pure and simple. Always had been since they were children. It was an unspoken competition, who was the fastest? The Doctor always had been, but the Master wouldn't be the Master if he gave up so easily.

"Where did you park your TARDIS?" The Doctor asked as they slowed down to a walk, to the could head in a direction with a purpose.

The Master didn't reply, but kept walking with determination. The Doctor turned and looked at him questioningly. 

"You did steal a TARDIS, didn't you? How else did you get here?"

"Oh no, i managed to escape and inescapable timelock, but it didn't cross my mind at all to nick a TARDIS. Oh thank Rassilon you're here Doctor, i'd have no idea what i'd do without you." The Master snarked back.

The Doctor looked at the Master expectantly. "Then where is it?"

The Master glared. "I just got.. spat out here, okay? I had to work with what i had." He grumbled.

The Doctor hid a smug smile. "So you don't have one with you?"

"No." The Master bit out.

The Doctor stuck his hands in his pockets and looked around nonchalantly as they walked, avoiding the older Timelord's gaze. "You could come with me still. If you want."

The Master turned to look at the Doctor who was still staring at the passing buildings like his life depended on it. The Master decided to follow the Doctor's example (for once in his life) and gazed in the opposite direction, as the conversation took a potentially awkward and scarily _real_ turn. This was like the Doctor's equivalent of marriage proposal. The fact he was still offering after so many years and wasn't running in the opposite direction showed how serious he apparently was.

"Let me guess," The Master said. "It would be your honour?"

"Well, i don't know about my honour but it could be fun." The Doctor replied grinning.

The Master frowned, pretending to think about it. "Yeah, alright then."

The Doctor's head whipped around so fast towards the Master, he was almost surprised he didn't get whiplash. "Really?"

The Master shrugged. "Yeah, why not. I guess i haven't got anything better to do."

The Doctor grinned, saying nothing. The Master glanced at him as they turned down another street.

"No, don't do that." He said scowling. The Doctor's grin widened further. "Oh, shut up." 

The Doctor bumped shoulders with the Master as they reached the TARDIS, toning his smile down a little. "So.. Where do you want to go? Anywhere, any place in all of Time and or Space.."

"Oh save me the speech Doctor, i'm not one of your pet monkeys." The Master snarked, pushing past him and going into the timeship.

The Doctor chuckled, pausing at the door. It was time for a new adventure it seemed.

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to leave kudos and comments, feedback is always appreciated and motivates me to write more! Come and find me on Tumblr at **[jimkivk](http://jimkivk.tumblr.com/)** , or if you're a book fan, come and find my book blog, **[williamherxndale](http://williamherxndale.tumblr.com/)**. (◡‿◡✿)


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